He told me that it would not change anything majorly, but it would be an adjustment, especially after getting the rectum removed. There are so many concerns when living with a bowel disease.
The rectum is right up against the vaginal canal and provides support, so no longer having it made things feel different. I was worn out easily, so I wasn’t always up for it. And it led to me tensing up a lot and trying to make sure that I was holding everything in, which didn’t always lead to a pleasant experience.
But after my surgery, things started to change pretty quickly.
Within just a few months, I started to notice my weight going up.
So I was nervous giving it another go after my surgery. ( I did have a completely laparoscopic surgery, so if you had an open surgery, it could be a different experience.) If I’m going to be honest here, it was difficult at first. So don’t get discouraged if it’s not what you think it will be right off the bat. Plus, I still had a wound that was very close by that was trying to heal up and forced us to take things even slower.
I knew I would no longer have to worry about the whole holding-it-in thing, but other concerns come along with it. It was probably closer to six months until I felt like we were really back to the way things should be.
The funny thing, though, is that I didn’t like I was gaining weight.
I believe you will find the other person won’t be bothered by it and will more than likely be supportive. Why would you let something silly like a bag on someone’s stomach get in the way of that? I know this is entirely from the woman’s perspective.
And while this is how my body reacted, I’m sure there are many different stories from other people.
I’m sure there are people who lose weight after finally being able to get off steroids and by feeling good enough to be more active.
But in the scenario that someone does take an issue with it, then be honest with yourself, is that really somebody you want to continue a relationship with? In the end, even though there was an adjustment period and some initial concerns, I have found that sex can be just as, if not even more, satisfying and enjoyable with an ostomy than without (especially if you are dealing with some of the same issues I was beforehand). You are still a beautiful/handsome/sexy person with or without a colon and with or without an ostomy bag. Have you found a difference in your sex life since getting an ostomy? Are there any men willing to share their own experience?
If they have a problem with an ostomy bag, then they probably have other issues, as well.