This is Relationship 101, but I think it bears repeating in the context of casual, non-serious, non-exclusive relationships. Whatever your truth is, don’t be shy about sharing it. I’m not a psychologist, but I’m self-aware enough to realize that there’s a reason I keep finding myself entangled in romantic situations that are, for lack of a more delicate term, “doomed from the start.” I want what I can’t have. Say yes to more second dates, keep a more open mind when swiping right and trying to meet more (and more diverse) people.
From working on my communication skills to understanding what I’m actually looking for in a partner, there’s a lot to learn from casual dating. It is simply impossible to put a full stop on the feels if you’re seeing just one person. You may find yourself drawn to blondes or tall guys or guys in leather jackets, but if you take stock of the guys you’ve dated you’ll probably find that they have more in common than their hair color or outerwear preferences. I’m drawn to guys with a goofy sense of humor, favor being outdoors over hitting the gym and aren’t very emotionally available at the moment. (These are exceedingly common threads among the romantically challenged.)I can’t tell you exactly how to break the mold (hello, still single over here) except to say keep trying.
If you ever get overwhelmed, or eventually find The One, most let you deactivate or delete your profile.
These dating apps are the equivalent to a pair of khakis from The Gap; there's absolutely nothing wrong with them, they're just overwhelmingly bland compared to what else is out there.
On the one hand, I am a strong, confident woman, and I know what I want!
On the other, I’m definitely not giving every potential partner a fair shot, and I’m giving guys who aren’t really right for me way too much of my heart too soon. But we’re also human, you and I, and when all our romantic energy is directed at just one person (even when it’s “so low-key”) we will not be able to keep things casual forever. Things like physical and emotional boundaries can help keep a relationship casual, but keeping more than one person in the mix will also keep feelings in check and remind you that you’re “out there” as much for yourself as for the people you might meet.