While the paper warns that these results, which focused on an urban cohort, should tested on a larger scale before being generalized to the elder gay male population at large, this paper (taken with plenty of anecdotal observation) is enough to suggest that IGA is a very real problem for our older generation.Fortunately, the researchers identified one factor that shows promise in at least partially softening the “social stress” of IGA: mattering.I have long encouraged cross-generational conversation as a way of transmitting and preserving our history—but now we know it’s also essential to the health of the guys who made it possible for us to be out in the first place.To their credit, the paper authors recognize the injustice inherent in having our heroes think they don’t matter because they are no longer idealized young studs: “These men have traversed unparalleled, personally relevant historical changes across their adult lives and have paved the way for younger generations of sexual minorities to live in a time of less institutionalized discrimination,” they write in the conclusion.Don’t whine if he can’t stay up chatting with you until 4am every night.
In an age when everything from your location to your financial transactions can be tracked, it’s getting harder and harder to keep anything a secret; let alone an affair. So, you’ve been dating this guy for a few months, everything seemed perfect. Ask any woman who has extensively dated older wealthy men, and then gone back to dating guys her own age, and the reasons to date older men will be painfully clear, and almost innumerable.
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It’s a commonplace to point out that, within the gay male community, youth—and the sexual attractiveness that supposedly comes with it—is a valuable currency.
“Still, they are subject to feeling socially invisible and depreciated in their later years, especially within the gay male community.” This is shameful—the very place they should feel at home and cared for should not be a source of stress.
There are many older men who have achieved success and made their money, who would love to date a younger, attractive woman.